Sunday, March 27, 2011

"We stayed together for the children"

It may seem like one of the most cliched reasons for two people, who honestly cannot stand each other, to have stayed together in married misery.  However, in the many years of my Georgia Divorce practice, I have run into this unhealthy mindset more times than I care to think about.  I say "unhealthy" because as an attorney and parent I have seen nothing but harm coming from such decisions.  If parents think that just having the fabled two parent home under which their children can spend their days is, in and of itself, a positive aspect, they are simply deluding themselves.  One thing I  have learned, both in my practice and in my home, is that kids, even really young kids, absorb and understand so much more of their surroundings than which we ever give them credit.  This includes that fact that Mom and Dad are not happy together.

We all want the best for our kids.  Unfortunately, we cannot tell our kids how to behave and then do something else.  If you want to show them how a loving and committed relationship should look, you need to show them.  Period, end of story.  If you stay together merely because you think it is the right thing to do, or that your religious beliefs demand it, or simply because it is easier to stay together, than not, you are doing your best for your children, or yourself.

Does that mean a Georgia Divorce is the answer?  Not necessarily.  Working on your relationship might help.  Trying to figure out what brought you together in the first place is a good place to start.

Strange advice from a Divorce Attonrney?  Maybe, but your relationship can be affecting more people than you and your spouse.  Keep that in mind if you are in a loveless marriage.